Excerpt from Greener Pastures

In early November, when Kimo brought the kids home as usual, Brandy blamed her puffy, red eyes on dust.  The kids seemed to buy her story and proceeded to tell her about their day.  She forced a smile and apologized.

"You two worked so hard today and I haven't even started dinner."

Kimo grabbed the chance to talk to her alone.

"Tell you what, I'll buy dinner.  Jeff and Lisa can go to the fast food place for some burgers and fries.  I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about anyhow."

"Can we, Mom?" Lisa asked.

"Why not."

Kimo gave Jeff money.

"Do you have a pretty good idea what we like to eat?"

"Yeah."

"Be careful."

"We will."

"Watch out for Lisa," Brandy added.

"I always do, Mom."

After they ran down the walk, Kimo turned to Brandy.

"I really don't have anything to talk to you about. Would you like to talk?"

She gazed at him a moment, then sank to the sofa.  As she removed a folded paper from her pocket and handed it to him, tears came.  Kimo read the formal letter from her landlord, disclosing that her rent would be raised $100 on January 1st.  He sat beside her, not too close.

"Knowing you, you've explored all your options."

Brandy nodded.

"I make too much to get housing assistance.  I've looked for another place for the past three days.  Pasto Bueno is booming.  The income-based places that are available, don't take kids.  My landlord knows there are plenty of people who will pay what he's asking for a furnished house.  The only way I can live in Pasto Bueno is to quit my job and let the government support me and my kids.  I don't want to do that."

She began sobbing.  He felt that he should comfort her somehow, but what would she accept.  He lay his hand on her shoulder.  When she did not object, he moved a little closer, gingerly placing his arm around her.  Brandy leaned into him and he held her.  How long has it been since I held a woman?  It gave him the same good feeling that came with helping the kids.

"I save everywhere I can," Brandy continued between sobs.  "We do without.  I can't cut back anywhere else.  I just can't!"

Kimo considered the problem.  He knew what he wanted to say.  But will she take it wrong?  Finally Brandy pulled away and apologized.

"I'm sorry.  This isn't your problem."

"What kind of friend would I be if I believed that?  I care about all of you.  I admire how hard you work.  I think I have a solution to your problem.  You and the kids could live with me."  Brandy puled back even more.  He saw that she had interpretted his offer just as he had feared.  "Don't look at me that way!  I've never given you any reason to think that of me."

"What am I supposed to think?  Why would you be any different than every other man?"

"Don't generalize.  Do I have an ulterior motive?  Maybe.  I love your kids.  I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I let you go on welfare when I have plenty of everything."

"Would your charity be any better than welfare?"

"I'm not offering charity!  You can buy groceries.  You can do housework.  The kids already do their share of chores.  But I don't want anything from you, personally speaking."

For the first time, Brandy actually considered the offer.  She tried to push out of her mind how much the kids would love the move.

"Okay.  Let's just talk about this as if I might consider it.  I'd have to pay something for rent."

"Agreed.  Fifty bucks a month."

"No!  More than that!"

"No.  Groceries are going to be the biggest extra expense of adding three more people.  You can cover that.  I'll provide the meat.  Fifty will cover the extra utilities."

"Well, maybe you're right.  What am I thinking?  I can't do this.  How would I get to work?"

Kimo thought a moment.

"I may have an answer for that too.  I'll get back to you tomorrow."

"Do you have an answer for everything?  To do this, I need to trust you.  I don't trust men."

"I'm one of those.  You need to trust someone.  I'd never hurt the kids.  I couldn't betray you without hurting the kids."

She studied him before answering.

"I do believe you love my kids and don't want to hurt them.  Even if you're trustworthy, people will talk."

"I suppose they will.  Does that matter?  We know the truth."

"That's easy for you to say.  You stay out here in your own little world.  You don't have to go to a work place where they can't wait to hear the latest gossip.  Or to school where the kids are just looking for something to tease you about."

He saw the truth of her words.  He did not care what anyone said about him.  He knew that Brandy could handle the gossip.  But he did not want the kids to suffer.

"Do whatever is best for the kids.  Don't decide now.  Take a few days."

"I will.  I appreciate that you've given me an alternative.  What will your family think of this?"

"The house is mine.  It doesn't matter what anyone thinks."

"Yes, it does.  I won't expose my children to hostility."

"My family wouldn't take this out on the kids.  I f they're really annoyed, they'll take it out on me.  But they'll probably just throw up their hands."

"Have they done that before?"

"Not with me.  I'm the one who does eveything right."

"I see."

Brandy turned away to hide her reaction.  She had also been the child who could do no wrong.  When she inevitably made a mistake, her parents had been unforgiving.  She hoped that Kimo's parents reacted better.